Life, The Great Adventure

This blog is about my search for freedom.

I’d been at a standstill for a while, but I think I started gaining some momentum about a year ago.  I went to the CL advent retreat (pretty much just to get out of town rather than Joe going and leaving me with the kids).  The talk by Father Alex was inspiring and moving for me and it got me going to CL more regularly because I finally saw the need for it.  I need people around me who will challenge me and help me face my faith.

Fast forward to a couple months ago when I read the book Kristin Lavransdatter.  This book moved me….but I can’t fully explain why.  It so truly captured the human condition. The human experience.  Our fallen nature.  At the end I didn’t know how to feel.  I felt a little despair that it seems so impossible to overcome our faults, but also moved. Moved by something I couldn’t put my finger on.  There was much beauty in the book. So I got another book by the author, Sigrid Undset.  I read her book Catherine of Siena.  Catherine herself was a little hard to relate to because of her mysticism and strange life; but I was still convicted and inspired.  This book showed me that it is possible to be a saint.  By the grace of God, by the desire for Christ.  At CL we talked about this and my friend Marta said that at first you may think of Christ a couple times a day, but then 4 times and 6 times and 20 times until with every breath.  By the grace of God I have the desire to not only take my faith seriously, but to make it my whole life.

I recently finished a book on Chiara Corbella Petrillo, who exemplified joy while facing the deaths of her children and finally her own life.  It makes me long for Christ that much more.  I want the joy and peace that comes with placing my life, my plans, in the hands of God, who has the most beautiful journey planned out for me.  Life is looking like an adventure again.  Who knows what God will ask of me?  It’s exciting to discover my destiny and to remember that I’m not in control.  Letting go of the fear of all that I cannot control (violence, changes in life, destruction in the world, loss of loved ones)…..letting go is so freeing!  Because there is an Other who is taking care of me.

 

The Joy of 3 Little Ones

Today I have 3 napping children and some time on my hands!

Meet the newest member of our family:  Theresa Jane who was born February 19th and will be 4 months old tomorrow!  She’s tiny and weighs less than 11 pounds right now, but super happy and smiley.  She enjoys cooing loudly, rolling onto her tummy and has been sleeping like a champ- about 10 hours straight.  My hope is that this continues and she’ll be my first baby to actually sleep at night.

Loved by her big brother and sister

Adored by her big brother and sister

Sometimes they like to copy her

Sometimes they like to copy her

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Everybody asks me how life is with 3.  And to my complete surprise, it’s been beautiful.  My expectations of these early months have been exceedingly surpassed. After the painful first month and the sleep deprived first 2-3 months, Theresa has become a very sweet and wonderful baby who brightens up her whole family’s lives.  The kids and I get out as much as before with playdates, the zoo, museum and playing outside with neighbors.

I thought for sure I’d have some form of depression as I did after my first two; but so far, no signs of it.  It seems we were  in survival mode only a brief time and have already begun thriving.

The title of my blog is about searching for freedom. Over the past several months I have finally taken some baby steps in this direction and have some experiences to share, but I’ll save that for another post.

Here’s a few more pictures of what we’ve been up to  since Theresa was born.

Theresa a few hours old

Celebrating our 5th wedding anniversary

Celebrating our 5th wedding anniversary

Leo's 4th birthday party

Leo’s 4th birthday party

Celebrating Leo's 4th birthday with a train ride at the zoo.

Celebrating Leo’s 4th birthday with a train ride at the zoo.

The Beautiful Twists in Time

Time is passing all around.

It passes with the sunny wind

and the rain on my roof.

It whispers in my ear…

My children are fighting gravity, growing up, up.

Their eyes grow brighter, their mouths smarter.

A little baby kicks in my womb.

The circle of life, going round again.

My God takes care of me.  He knows every corner of my heart.

I praise Him for these gifts I was once reluctant to take,

and for this life I didn’t think was right for me,

is more beautiful than I’d imagined.

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Why I Deleted My Facebook Account

Yep.  I did it.  I took the plunge and deleted my Facebook account after being a member since 2005.  That was way back when it was just for college students.  It’s been almost a daily part of my life for the past 8 years.  But you know what?  I haven’t regretted it or missed it these past few weeks.  It’s quite freeing.

From what I can tell, many people have a troubled relationship with Facebook.  On the one hand, you have all these people (some of which are friends) that you’re connected with and can easily share/receive information with, but on the other hand they tend to drive you crazy at times.  Facebook is ever-evolving and it’s gotten to the point where it was too distracting, frustrating and annoying for me.  People are always sharing links, some of which I found interesting, some of which I found infuriating.  I’d tell myself I would get on Facebook for a couple minutes, but then the shared links would catch my eye and I’d end up on it for much longer.  Clearly a fault of my own, but I’m glad the temptation is gone.  Also, I think people are more opinionated and louder on Facebook than they are in real life.  Jen says here that people who don’t have Facebook tend to view their friends more positively.  I can understand that for the same reasons she talks about.

I plan on keeping in better touch with people than I was when connected with them through Facebook.  It is too easy to have shallow friendships with people in which maybe you keep up with their life by reading their posts, but you don’t actually have face to face or phone to phone conversations.  As was mentioned in a talk at the New York Encounter (that I attended this past weekend), “the bonds of society are getting weaker”.  We’re less attached to one another.  Face to face encounters build relationship rather than passively keeping up with someone’s life (or what they feel like posting about their life) through the internet.  And if I think of someone and it’s been a while since I’ve seen them, it’s a reminder than I should call them to get together.

So yes, I’m excitedly trying to simplify my life, but I admit, it’s hard not to just switch out Facebook with some other online addiction, like keeping up with multiple bloggers.  But if I get this under control, I’ll be one step closer to freedom.  Freedom from the grasp of the internet.

 

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janyceresh

If sarcasm and self deprecating humour were an Olympic event I'd definitely qualify.

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