Life, The Great Adventure

This blog is about my search for freedom.

I’d been at a standstill for a while, but I think I started gaining some momentum about a year ago.  I went to the CL advent retreat (pretty much just to get out of town rather than Joe going and leaving me with the kids).  The talk by Father Alex was inspiring and moving for me and it got me going to CL more regularly because I finally saw the need for it.  I need people around me who will challenge me and help me face my faith.

Fast forward to a couple months ago when I read the book Kristin Lavransdatter.  This book moved me….but I can’t fully explain why.  It so truly captured the human condition. The human experience.  Our fallen nature.  At the end I didn’t know how to feel.  I felt a little despair that it seems so impossible to overcome our faults, but also moved. Moved by something I couldn’t put my finger on.  There was much beauty in the book. So I got another book by the author, Sigrid Undset.  I read her book Catherine of Siena.  Catherine herself was a little hard to relate to because of her mysticism and strange life; but I was still convicted and inspired.  This book showed me that it is possible to be a saint.  By the grace of God, by the desire for Christ.  At CL we talked about this and my friend Marta said that at first you may think of Christ a couple times a day, but then 4 times and 6 times and 20 times until with every breath.  By the grace of God I have the desire to not only take my faith seriously, but to make it my whole life.

I recently finished a book on Chiara Corbella Petrillo, who exemplified joy while facing the deaths of her children and finally her own life.  It makes me long for Christ that much more.  I want the joy and peace that comes with placing my life, my plans, in the hands of God, who has the most beautiful journey planned out for me.  Life is looking like an adventure again.  Who knows what God will ask of me?  It’s exciting to discover my destiny and to remember that I’m not in control.  Letting go of the fear of all that I cannot control (violence, changes in life, destruction in the world, loss of loved ones)…..letting go is so freeing!  Because there is an Other who is taking care of me.

 

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