Maybe Introverts who Hate Phone Calls and Don’t Have Time For Email Updates Shouldn’t Quit Facebook After All

So, (awkward chuckle), you know how I wrote this post on quitting Facebook? Yeaaa…about that. Well, my plan seemed like a good one and I really do think it’s ideal to keep up with people in more personal ways, like phone conversations, meetups or emails/letters. But I don’t really have or want to spend my time updating a few people via email with pictures and notes about my life. I practically fear phone conversations (so why I thought I could commit to regular ones…I don’t know). And I’m kinda busy for frequent meetups. Ah who am I kidding? In the four months I was off of facebook, I didn’t meet up with anyone who I’d hope to catch up with. So my experiment with having more personal relationships just doesn’t work very well for a busy introvert like me. I’m back on Facebook. I do at least have a renewed sense of purpose on it. Since I’d permanently deleted my account, I’m starting over with a clean slate and I hope to keep my friends’ list to people who I actually consider a friend (even if we’ve only met through blogging). Also, after reading that Narcissism book, I am keenly aware of how I present myself. I don’t want to be all like “look at my life and admire me”. I hope to be as real as I can be rather than showing some glossed over representation of my life. And I don’t want to be an attention-grabber or even to care who “likes” things on my page. I just want to share things that I think people who are close to me can appreciate. When I left Facebook, a few people were almost upset with me because they wanted to follow me and my family’s life since we don’t live near one another. Facebook seems to be the easiest medium for me to share pictures and updates, so there ya have it. The other side of the coin for Facebook usage. It’s both a blessing and a curse.

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Mothers with Young Children Need Help! Let’s Talk about How

For the past couple months, life with my 2 1/2 year old and 1 1/2 year old has seemed….pretty manageable.  It’s to the point, where I’m like….should I have another baby?  Because I should just be jumping back on the crazy train as soon as I’ve caught my breath, right?  I’ve started reading more, writing more, cleaning more, and just lounging more.  And then I got the urge to volunteer my time in some way.  Rather than sitting around, enjoying how easy I have it and thinking about me, me, me; I wanted to figure out a way to help others, with my 2 little ones in tow.  Near and dear to my heart is helping other mothers who are buried deep in the trenches of motherhood.

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Back when we had a 15 month old and a newborn.

I have some friends who have just had or are having their 3rd baby and their oldest is 2 1/2 or younger.  I can only imagine how challenging and tiring that would be. That could’ve been me had God not taken pity on my sanity and given me time to figure out NFP without another surprise during the confusing early months when Silvia was a newborn.  I respect my friends and their sacrifice to faithfully practice or attempt to practice NFP even with children so close together, and I want to help.  I want to be God’s hands, cleaning their houses, making them dinners, and keeping their older kids busy.  I know that God won’t give them more than they can handle and that He will carry them through the difficult times, but maybe God wants to use me to physically carry them through.  In this very manageable season that I’m in, maybe it’s my turn to reach out and help.  Also, I already have my own help.  My two neighbor girls, aged 11 and 7, are answers to my prayers for help that I cried out years ago.

Today, I brought my kids to my friend’s house and the four toddlers played together while she and her husband took their newborn to a doctor appointment and then did a little housecleaning.  I did my best to help clean, too. I could have stayed all day and cleaned (cuz I’m weird and actually enjoy it), but alas, there were 4 toddlers to help take care of.  I’ve made plans with her to make this a weekly event for a while.

I’m still brainstorming ways to help all these moms that need help.  In our modern world of isolation, I want to build communities and networks that have each other’s backs.  We and many of our friends don’t have family in town.  It can be so difficult to get help without paying your left arm for a babysitter.   When a crisis pops up and the babysitter isn’t around, it’s important to have a safety net of people you can turn to.

I’ve thought about something like a co-op daycare, where moms could drop their kids off for a few hours while a couple of other moms babysit together; and then they all switch babysitting duties the next time.  In busy seasons, where moms have newborns, they would be exempt temporarily from babysitting duties, but could still drop their kids off.

My friend thought that moms should just swap babysitting and/or cleaning with another mom.

Also, what we need is more “big” kids to help out like my neighbor girls.  They are at an age where they love little kids and find them so adorable; so they like to play with them.  Leo loves big kids because they run around with him, play hide and seek and push him on the swing.  They don’t take his toys like the other toddlers do.  They are kind of like older siblings and they can be mommy’s helpers at home while she cooks,cleans, works on something or just relaxes.   My little sister babysat (without charging) for a large family for several years.  She started when she was in middle school and continued to babysit throughout high school.  The mom would work from home on her business or do housework while my sister was there.  I see now what a blessing she was for that family.

Do you have any ideas on how to help moms with young children?  Or how to build up communities?  I’d love to hear them.

 

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