Switching Blogs

Hello to any friends who still follow me.  I want to let you know that I’ve written my first post at my new blog playinghomeschool.wordpress.com.  I have changed my focus to be more about my kids and what we do together especially as I incorporate home schooling into our lives. So head on over there if you’d like to keep updated on us.

Deanna

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Life, The Great Adventure

This blog is about my search for freedom.

I’d been at a standstill for a while, but I think I started gaining some momentum about a year ago.  I went to the CL advent retreat (pretty much just to get out of town rather than Joe going and leaving me with the kids).  The talk by Father Alex was inspiring and moving for me and it got me going to CL more regularly because I finally saw the need for it.  I need people around me who will challenge me and help me face my faith.

Fast forward to a couple months ago when I read the book Kristin Lavransdatter.  This book moved me….but I can’t fully explain why.  It so truly captured the human condition. The human experience.  Our fallen nature.  At the end I didn’t know how to feel.  I felt a little despair that it seems so impossible to overcome our faults, but also moved. Moved by something I couldn’t put my finger on.  There was much beauty in the book. So I got another book by the author, Sigrid Undset.  I read her book Catherine of Siena.  Catherine herself was a little hard to relate to because of her mysticism and strange life; but I was still convicted and inspired.  This book showed me that it is possible to be a saint.  By the grace of God, by the desire for Christ.  At CL we talked about this and my friend Marta said that at first you may think of Christ a couple times a day, but then 4 times and 6 times and 20 times until with every breath.  By the grace of God I have the desire to not only take my faith seriously, but to make it my whole life.

I recently finished a book on Chiara Corbella Petrillo, who exemplified joy while facing the deaths of her children and finally her own life.  It makes me long for Christ that much more.  I want the joy and peace that comes with placing my life, my plans, in the hands of God, who has the most beautiful journey planned out for me.  Life is looking like an adventure again.  Who knows what God will ask of me?  It’s exciting to discover my destiny and to remember that I’m not in control.  Letting go of the fear of all that I cannot control (violence, changes in life, destruction in the world, loss of loved ones)…..letting go is so freeing!  Because there is an Other who is taking care of me.

 

The Joy of 3 Little Ones

Today I have 3 napping children and some time on my hands!

Meet the newest member of our family:  Theresa Jane who was born February 19th and will be 4 months old tomorrow!  She’s tiny and weighs less than 11 pounds right now, but super happy and smiley.  She enjoys cooing loudly, rolling onto her tummy and has been sleeping like a champ- about 10 hours straight.  My hope is that this continues and she’ll be my first baby to actually sleep at night.

Loved by her big brother and sister

Adored by her big brother and sister

Sometimes they like to copy her

Sometimes they like to copy her

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Everybody asks me how life is with 3.  And to my complete surprise, it’s been beautiful.  My expectations of these early months have been exceedingly surpassed. After the painful first month and the sleep deprived first 2-3 months, Theresa has become a very sweet and wonderful baby who brightens up her whole family’s lives.  The kids and I get out as much as before with playdates, the zoo, museum and playing outside with neighbors.

I thought for sure I’d have some form of depression as I did after my first two; but so far, no signs of it.  It seems we were  in survival mode only a brief time and have already begun thriving.

The title of my blog is about searching for freedom. Over the past several months I have finally taken some baby steps in this direction and have some experiences to share, but I’ll save that for another post.

Here’s a few more pictures of what we’ve been up to  since Theresa was born.

Theresa a few hours old

Celebrating our 5th wedding anniversary

Celebrating our 5th wedding anniversary

Leo's 4th birthday party

Leo’s 4th birthday party

Celebrating Leo's 4th birthday with a train ride at the zoo.

Celebrating Leo’s 4th birthday with a train ride at the zoo.

The Beautiful Twists in Time

Time is passing all around.

It passes with the sunny wind

and the rain on my roof.

It whispers in my ear…

My children are fighting gravity, growing up, up.

Their eyes grow brighter, their mouths smarter.

A little baby kicks in my womb.

The circle of life, going round again.

My God takes care of me.  He knows every corner of my heart.

I praise Him for these gifts I was once reluctant to take,

and for this life I didn’t think was right for me,

is more beautiful than I’d imagined.

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An update before I settle back into writing.

Well, I took quite a hiatus from blogging.  I think that before I jump back in to thoughtful posts, I need to fill you in on my ever-changing life to give you some perspective on my experiences.

Real quick like:

-It’s been a potty-training summer, but success with both of my toddlers

-Leo turned 3

-Silvia turned 2

-We’re having another baby in February (already halfway there)

-I’m working for my friend a couple days a week as a nanny.  I bring my 2 kids.  And her 3 kids are all younger than Leo, so it’s a crowd of miniature people.

Those are the biggest changes, but here’s some photos:

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Leo’s 3rd birthday party!

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What we did on Silvia’s 2nd birthday.

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At a baseball game in July

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Indiana State fair in August

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Last night we finally got a babysitter and went out for dinner on our anniversary.  A beautiful evening

Our 4th Anniversary in June

Moments to be Grateful For

How blessed I feel to be spending these days with my children.  We’ve been getting out of the house almost every day on an adventure together.  We’ve gone to the zoo, the park, a coffeehouse (which has toys for kids), a walk to the market, partly around the 100-acre woods, the splash pad, friends’ houses…and more.

Trying to climb into the polar bear's lair

Trying to climb into the polar bear’s lair

Yesterday morning, I had plans to go to the zoo with my friend and Joe said he was jealous.  There was a time when I was jealous that he got to get out of the house and go to work.  Times have changed, and the kids have grown and gotten easier to take on outings or play by themselves in the yard.  I know that I am so lucky to be home with them.

Children's museum

Children’s museum

One afternoon this week, it was a beautiful sunny day and we were in our backyard when the storm clouds appeared.  We went inside to change into our bathing suits and then the three of us went back outside to play in the rain.  They threw rocks in puddles and I showed Silvia how fun the slide is when it’s wet.  We went inside and I gave them a bath and when they were done, it was hailing balls about a 1/2 inch in size!

rain, rain, it's ok.  you can stay for just today

rain, rain, it’s ok. you can stay for just today

She was walking away, but every time I said "smile", she would walk back and get in the camera's face before the picture would take

She was walking away, but every time I said “smile”, she would walk back and get in the camera’s face before the picture would take

Today, I had to catch up on dishes and make a big lunch, so the kids played outside by themselves for a long time.  I would check on them every so often, and they’d be crouched down making a mud pile or playing with rocks.  When I came outside, I found the broom from the front porch on the outside of our front fence.  Leo must have tossed it over.  When they came inside, they put blankets over their heads and walked around, bumping into things.  Leo kept saying “hewoh (hello) ghost guy”, since they were pretending to be ghosts.  Then they spun themselves around in circles until they were dizzy and laughing and falling over.   I told them to tell each other night-night before their naps, and they gave each other a kiss.  Leo frequently asks if Silvia can nap in his bed with him, but we say she’s not old enough yet.

Leo spinning Silvia's chair and saying "baby go wost (fast)" and "hold on tight"

Leo spinning Silvia’s chair and saying “baby go wost (fast)” and “hold on tight”

Thankfully, my little beauties are napping well today 🙂

 

Maybe Introverts who Hate Phone Calls and Don’t Have Time For Email Updates Shouldn’t Quit Facebook After All

So, (awkward chuckle), you know how I wrote this post on quitting Facebook? Yeaaa…about that. Well, my plan seemed like a good one and I really do think it’s ideal to keep up with people in more personal ways, like phone conversations, meetups or emails/letters. But I don’t really have or want to spend my time updating a few people via email with pictures and notes about my life. I practically fear phone conversations (so why I thought I could commit to regular ones…I don’t know). And I’m kinda busy for frequent meetups. Ah who am I kidding? In the four months I was off of facebook, I didn’t meet up with anyone who I’d hope to catch up with. So my experiment with having more personal relationships just doesn’t work very well for a busy introvert like me. I’m back on Facebook. I do at least have a renewed sense of purpose on it. Since I’d permanently deleted my account, I’m starting over with a clean slate and I hope to keep my friends’ list to people who I actually consider a friend (even if we’ve only met through blogging). Also, after reading that Narcissism book, I am keenly aware of how I present myself. I don’t want to be all like “look at my life and admire me”. I hope to be as real as I can be rather than showing some glossed over representation of my life. And I don’t want to be an attention-grabber or even to care who “likes” things on my page. I just want to share things that I think people who are close to me can appreciate. When I left Facebook, a few people were almost upset with me because they wanted to follow me and my family’s life since we don’t live near one another. Facebook seems to be the easiest medium for me to share pictures and updates, so there ya have it. The other side of the coin for Facebook usage. It’s both a blessing and a curse.

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